


Let's rewind, repeat and restart

by Shiiteuu



Category: NCT (Band), Taeyong and Mark
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sweet Mark Lee (NCT), Teen Romance, taeyong - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-04 22:10:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15156680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiiteuu/pseuds/Shiiteuu
Summary: Taeyong is a new student at the Seoul art school. There he meets Mark and their relationship starts to form, but as their relationship grows, so do the questions around Taeyongs past. Can Mark find out who Taeyong really is? and will he be able to know if their love was real or just fake?





	1. Our first meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ernesto](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ernesto).
  * Inspired by [rewind. repeat. restart.//taemark-youtube](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/394697) by kt;hero. 



-Winter 2017-  
\- December 01-

I awoke after another night of nightmares, my body sweaty and cold: cold from the winter breeze that's entered my room.  
I've forgotten to close the window that night again, the wind blowing in stronger each time it enters.  
My head isn't the best at night, the nightmares seemed to get more realistic.  
I couldn't help but cry, crying quietly but not silently; the sound of my sniffing filling the room.  
Another night of dreams, dreams of fear and helplessness.  
Lonely--feelings of mine hit me in my heart.  
Let's not think about it; they'll disappear soon, they always do.

-

I was painting one of my nightmares when Taeyong came in, his eyes looking shallow and tired yet still alive.  
The teacher introduced him as the new student of this school. I watched him slowly, observing his beauty.  
Taeyongs eyes found mine and he walked slowly towards the seat behind me. The smell of his newly washed clothes flew all around me, casting a spell.  
I look behind, following the smell of mango and I watch him sit down and put his bag beside him, he then looked up and saw my eyes observing him.  
We didn't break eye contact, the eyes of his were as deep and terrifying as my nightmares.  
We sat there for a long time, looking into each other's eyes, trying to read one another if the other might be a great threat or a dark mystery.

-

At lunch I didn't see him, I wondered if he'd lost his way.  
During lunch I got invited to a Christmas party, seeing that I'd be alone again this Christmas, I said yes.  
I went back to finish my painting like I'd always do after lunch.  
The classroom was always empty after lunch and no one was going to be there for another hour, but after entering the classroom, I saw Taeyong sitting with his eyes closed at his seat, he had his arms folded and he leaned back into his chair.  
The winters light surrounded him, he seemed like a person who'd just jumped out of a painting.  
He opened his eyes slowly and looked at me with a cold and intimidating expression.  
"I didn't see you at lunch, I wondered where you were," I said, still looking into those dark eyes.  
"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.  
He didn't answer, he only looked at me.  
It was silent for a while, my beating heart beating its winter song.  
He closed his eyes again and tilted his head, looking like a snow white; peacefully.  
I walked to my seat in front of him and I continued painting.  
I liked the times we'd sit in silence, I would paint and he would sleep.  
Would he be dreaming or listening to me painting?  
This would continue for days, maybe even weeks. I would not complain, neither did he.

-

At night my dreams would grow taller and stronger, my nightmares dancing with my dead body and my heart beating for help.


	2. The Christmas party kiss

-Winter 2017-  
-December 25-

The day of the Christmas party was like any other day; I woke up in a cold sweat, I went to school and I continued painting my dreams. I had prepared a dark brown suit the day before, it isn't the fanciest suit but it looks like it fits the mood of the Christmas spirit.   
At lunch, I would eat fast and walk towards the classroom, expecting Taeyong to sit at his seat and sleep.  
I did what we always did and I sat down and painted and he had his eyes closed as always.  
It was silent and relaxing.  
He then out of nowhere called my name and I turned worriedly back.  
That was the first time I'd hear him say my name. It was great.  
I looked him in his eyes and he moved slowly forward, his eyes not leaving mine.  
he asked "Mark, why do you always paint with dark colors?"  
His question left me a little shocked.  
"I draw my dreams," I say.   
He nodded his head and fell back into his seat, closing his eyes and sleeping again.  
Perhaps he was watching me?

-

I was told that the party started at 8 pm, I made my way up to my friend's apartment and I was greeted by so many. I laughed and joked, they laughed and joked. It was boring and after laughing a bit I looked towards the Christmas tree, there Taeyong sat, looking more fancier than the people in this apartment.  
I felt a joy in me blooming.  
Taeyong and I talked a lot, we joked about the teachers and about our grades. After drinking a few alcoholic drinks we went outside for some fresh air.  
There outside of the apartment, the cold breeze refreshed us.  
We didn't say much, we only looked out and watched the snow fall lightly.   
I ask "Taeyong, why don't you talk?" My breath smelling of liquor.   
He didn't answer, that was my way of knowing when he felt like not talking anymore.  
I smiled, putting my hand on his shoulder. "It's oke, you don't have to tell me," I said with my words stumbling a little by little.  
He then turned his head towards mine.  
We fell in silence once again, our eyes not moving away from each other.  
He then moved his face slowly towards mine, first our noses touched then he moved his head down to mine and we kissed.   
All the drunk feelings felt like they floated away and his kiss drowned my heart.   
Our eyes closed and we kissed for a few more seconds, maybe even minutes? who knows?

-

That night my dreams were about him, Taeyong.


	3. January love

-Winter 2018-  
-January 19-

I woke up without a nightmare for once and I couldn't help but wonder if Taeyong was my Sandman; calming my mind and heart when I was sleeping.  
He was still sleeping when I woke up, I was facing him, our noses touching.  
We slept in the classroom yesterday night, I was finishing my painting and he was sleeping when a strong snow storm started to blow. We decided to sleep in the classroom for the night, during the night we'd only look into each other's eyes. He brushed my cheeks with his fingers and said he'd be my guardian for the night. The guardian who would protect me from my nightmares.

I looked at his sleeping face, making sure not to make any sound, I touched his cheek and then slowly lifted my head and kissed his nose. I thought he was sleeping but turns out he was listening to my moves. He opened his eyes and held my gaze for a long time until he whispered in a husky morning voice "seems like you've fallen in love with me." he then smiled with the corners of his lips and closed his eyes again.  
"You only sleep, don't you?" I huffed.  
His hands traveled from his side onto my waist and he pulled me into his embrace. We were laying there, just the two of us and the morning sun of January.

-

That night I asked myself 'have I really fallen in love?'   
If I indeed have fallen for a mysterious stranger, I didn't think I would survive a broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you enjoying the story so far?   
> :)))


	4. Rooftop whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

-Winter 2018-  
-January 29-

My mornings went from waking up from a nightmare to waking up from a dream, calm and normal dreams. My paintings became lighter and more freely. With Taeyong in my life, I felt more alive. We'd still do our thing after lunch, he'd sit behind me; watching me paint and I'd paint my dreams with a focused expression.

-

Taeyong never ate lunch in school, he would never say why when I asked him about it. I would always bring him some food and he'd eat it quietly.  
A friend at lunch asked me about Taeyong; asking who he was and if he was to be trusted. I told him I didn't know much about Taeyong and it made me somewhat curious.  
After lunch, I did what I always did; I painted while Taeyong slept, but this time I thought about him, about who Taeyong was. He never mentioned his parents nor where he lived before moving here. I was indeed curious, the question is; was I allowed?

-

Taeyong and I were sitting on a rooftop of an apartment, he said he wanted to show me the city lights of Seoul.  
It was beautiful.  
We sat at the edge, our sprite cans in hand and we watched the city come alive.  
After a while of enjoying the view, I looked over to him.  
"Tae, can I ask you a question?" I asked, looking at the side profile of his face.  
He didn't say anything, he only drank out of his sprite can and watched the view.  
I looked at my fingers for a second to collect my voice and then I asked with a low and curious voice:  
"Who are you...really?"  
He turned to look at me and our eyes met.  
He smiled a little, it was enough to notice it on his face.  
He then turned his head back and continued drinking his drink.  
I sat quietly and didn't know what to do, his silence meant he didn't want to talk anymore. I looked down at my drink, which was in my hands, and I thought for a while.  
I then looked back up at him.  
"Do you like me?" I asked but this time more confidently.  
He looked down for a few seconds and then at me, his eyes finding mine and then looking down at my lips, then into my eyes again.  
He then only whispered a short answer, the answer which made my heart melt.  
"yea..."

-

I don't remember sleeping that night. The whisper kept repeating in my head and my heart kept melting.


	5. Gone with the winter

-Winter 2018-  
-February 10-

When I arrived at school I couldn't see Taeyong anywhere, I asked around but no one has heard or seen him anywhere. I couldn't do anything, he wasn't answering his phone and he never said where he lived. I was getting worried but I had hope. He surely had to come back, right? 

He didn't.  
He didn't come back the next day and then the day after that and the day after that, he didn't come for another week.  
My heart felt like it wasn't there anymore, I was getting worried.

After a week of Taeyong missing, I went to the principle. I thought; if no one knew where Taeyong was the principle should know.   
I waited for my turn in the hallway, many kids wanted to talk to the principle for different reasons.  
My waiting was repaid by the principle welcoming me in.  
"So, Mark! What can an old man like me do for you?" The principle joked.  
I sat upright and began talking.  
"Mr. Jone, a friend of mine didn't come to school for a week and I'm getting worried. Can you show me his address so that I may visit him?"   
Mr. Jones was surprised and let out a low "Oh"  
"Let's start with what the boy's name is first." Mr. Jone said.  
"His name is Taeyong, Lee Taeyong," I said with a determination of finding out where he was.  
The principle Mr. Jones tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. He looked through some documents and after a while exclaimed.  
"Aha! yes, student Lee Taeyong! Yeah, he dropped out. Really a shame, he seemed to really like it here." 

After hearing those words my body felt like breaking into million pieces.  
I couldn't speak, my breathing became more and more desperate. The only word I could mutter forward was:  
"Why?"  
The moments we had, the kiss, the hugs, the love, was that all real?   
Why would he do that?  
My eyes felt heavy and I buried my head in my hands.  
why?


	6. Last kiss?

-Winter 2018-  
-February 24-

 

Today was an especially cold day, the wind blew colder and the snow fell lighter.  
It was a beautiful day, only if my heart could feel the same.  
I had a free day from school today, I spend it by locking myself in my room, trying not to think about him.  
No matter how hard I tried suppressing these feelings of mine, they would always find a way to float above my sinking heart.  
I hadn't eaten anything and I was getting hungry so I went to the convenience store, I was feeling for some ice cream and sprite.  
It was about midnight when I entered the store, it was only me and the cashier.  
I grabbed the ice cream and the sprite, as I grabbed the sprite the memory of him whispering to me popped up in my head.  
His whisper echoing in my head, it's like I'm back to that moment again.  
That night where he showed me the city lights, the night where I saw his beauty, the night where I felt happy.  
My heart, it still feels lost.

While shaking that memory away from me I pay for everything and walk out of the store.  
The moment I stepped out of the convenience store I'm greeted with a silhouette walking towards the store and stopping in front of me. It took me a while to recognize the silhouettes face but after the light of the convenience store hit him, my body felt like a train had hit me.

"Tae..." I said in disbelief.  
His eyes widened.  
"Mark..." He said softly.

-

We laid on the rooftop of my apartment building, our shoulders touching.  
Our eyes looked up at the stars which covered the dark sky.  
No one said a thing, the warmth of one another was enough to make us silent.  
The anger I felt was empowering me and the loneliness took a hold of my voice.  
"Where were you?" I said slow and with a feeling of a rock in my throat.  
He turned his head to me, his eyes dark as the night and sparkly as the stars.  
He didn't answer.  
The frustration of my longing for him felt like it was about to burst.  
"I was scared Tae, I thought you had left me," I said with my eyes burning.  
"How could you do this to me?" I continued, looking at him.  
His hand wandered to my cheek, he held it like he used to.  
I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his warmth and the feeling of his presence.  
"Mark," he said, our noses almost touching, my eyes still closed.  
"I'm sorry, I truly am, but I have to leave Seoul."  
My eyes shot open and I looked at him with shock.  
"W-Why? Why do you have to move?" I stuttered.  
I sat up and looked down at him.  
He then sat up next to me and looked ahead.  
"My father found out where my mom and I live, we're forced to hide again," Taeyong said with a cold and hard voice.  
He turned his head and looked at me. He continued:  
"There's no other way but to run and hide."  
I was in shock, I didn't know how to respond, I only looked at him.  
My gaze slowly wandered down, if only time would stop ticking, we could be free from all and everything.  
"Can't we keep contact?" I ask with the smallest bit of hope in me.  
I moved my head up again, looking at his sad expression with hopeful eyes.  
He moved closer to me, slowly as time.  
I could feel his breathing on my lips and before I can process what's happening he kissed me.  
He held my neck softly, my head moving in rhythm as his kiss.  
The kiss lasted for a minute, he pulled away slowly, enjoying the tip of our lips touching.  
He whispered one last thing:  
"I don't want to leave my heart behind when I leave."

-

That night he left.   
He left me and took my nightmares along with him.


	7. Rewind, repeat and restart

-Summer 2019-  
-August 18-

The past year I've been trying to ease my heart the best way I could, I focused on my projects and painted my dreams.  
My nightmares haven't come to visit me again after he left, I was grateful for that. The memories I made with him were the ease of my heart's desire.   
It felt like a big part of my heart was missing and it was lonely.  
The nights where I'd remembered his embrace were the worst nights, the emptiness would freeze my heart to sleep.  
The winter where he appeared in my life will be the most precious winter I'll ever have.

-

At lunch, I went to walk around for a bit, my head felt a little stuffed.   
My friend walked behind me, talking about something I didn't really care about when he suddenly exclaimed.  
"Yo, Mark! Isn't that Taeyong?"   
I whipped my head to the right and saw a figure standing in the distance, the figure waved leisurely and I could feel my eyes widening in shock.  
I was in disbelief, was it really him? Can it be?

My feet had a mind of their own and they started walking towards the figure, but the more steps I took the faster my pace would get.  
I found myself running towards the figure.  
My body felt like jumping up and down as in a euphoric state.  
The closer I got the more I recognized his face, it was indeed Taeyong.

I stopped in front of him, our eyes meeting again.  
He was wearing a white loose shirt making him appear light as a feather with the summer's light embracing his figure.  
While trying to catch my breath I said:  
"wouldn't think I'd see you here again."  
He smiled, his smile waking me up.  
"me neither." He said.

I embraced him and he embraced me back.   
For the sake of this relationship and the future I hope we get to rewind, repeat and restart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //What did you think?  
> //Did you like it?  
> -  
> thank you for reading and have a great day/night.


End file.
